Should I still keep waiting?
Should I still trust him?
Is law the right profession for me?
Is God sending me signs but I keep ignoring them?
Am I insane?
Should I give up?
Should I cry?
Should I keep on crying?
Should I keep on moving?
Should I stop?
Should I die?
I need assurance, I need answers..
Someone please enlighten me..
Lord help me….
Last July 3, I said goodbye to my boyfriend. (eeer, it’s the third time already that I’m saying goodbye to a boyfriend who is going abroad.) It’s not that I’m complaining but it’s getting harder and harder everytime.
But this time is the worst. Why? Because I spent a year and a half with this guy, I mean literally. There wasn’t a day that we weren’t together, except for those times when he went home to the province but still, we were texting and calling 20 hours a day.
For the first time, I won’t be able to see him whenever I want to, and I won’t be able to call him when I have bad dreams, everything is different now.
I don’t know if this will ever work but I know one thing, I’m really hoping. But if everything else fails, I would try to move on and hope that everything is going to be alright.
I stayed in this company for more than a year and trust me when I say that this has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my life.
To my former boss, Marc Macalua, thank you for for everything. Thank you for hiring me, hahahha!! But seriously, thank you for every bit of time you spent listening to my concerns.
To my best friends at the Marketing Department, Aimee, Sarah, Anna, and Maje, you gals have been the greatest. I will miss all the breakfast and lunch “tsimis sessions.” You have been my strength during my toughest times in this company.
To Tabby, thank you for believing in me and inspiring me to write more.
To Carl, thank you for being the supportive boss you have always been.
To Sir Arcee, my new team leader, thank you for offering me a new opportunity and thank you for giving me back every thing that I lost.
To my teammates, especially to Sir Vince, Ms Niki, Sir Pj, Ms. Maydz, Chrishie And Art, thank you for every glass of beer and every dose of laughter you shared with me.
I’m going to miss you all.. ;-(
I’m really sorry for not being an avid blogger lately. It’s Because so much has happened that I can not find “enough” time to update my precious blog. Allow me to explain.
Before the end of 2007, I applied for a position in our company’s Data And Catalog department. You might be wondering why. Well, I love the marketing department, seriously. But I think that I just need something “new”, I need to find a job that does not take away my love for writing. You see, my previous job required me to write thousands of words about a certain topic and sometimes, this could really get too exhausting. Besides, the emotional trauma was too much for me to handle. And so, I finally decided to switch departments.
On the first week of 2008, I got the job! Yes, I am now officially a Data Catalog Developer. I will still be writing but this job will no longer require me to write in bulk. Currently, I am now in my third week and I am enjoying every moment of it. The job is not that hard and the people are really helpful and friendly.
About the apartment, I recently moved into a new one. It’s a bit farther from my office than the recent one but think I’m more comfortable here knowing that some of my closest friends way back in high school are now my neighbors! Yey!
By the way, ia have a new toy, hihihi. Details on my next post!;-)
I’m a self-confessed daddy’s girl and because of this, I practically grew up not being close with my mom. I spent almost every minute of the day with my dad because he always understood me and we really had a lot in common,(plus the endless shopping sprees, hehe.) But really, I don’t remember a time wherein a preferred to be with my mom rather than to be with my dad.
But in times when i get sick or when I feel depressed, I feel like I’m the safest person in the world when I’m with my mom, not because she’s a doctor but because she is simply “my mom.” It was only today that I realized that without my mom, I would have had a nervous breakdown many years ago. You see, during my first day in college, my dad kept crying and he was too “afraid” to see me ride the bus and leave the province. My mom, on the other hand, was the stronger one. She knew I could do it, she knew that I could survive. She has always been that way.
My mom proved to be a real life supermom when my dad passed away four years ago. We had nothing and my dad’s properties and benefits were far from being released, given the slow system of our government when it comes to benefiting their employees. But my mom never showed a sign of backing down. She contacted every government and supreme court officials she knew so that dad’s benefits wold be given sooner. And after a mere three months, the supreme court issued my dad’s money.
The years that followed my dad’s death was proved to be very difficult for me and my brother, with our constant quarrels that ended up in months of not talking to each other. Mom was our only bridge, she held us together, she tried everything to make things easier for me and my brother.
Great things that my mom does for us will give you the longest list in the world, no kidding.
I know that I have not been an ideal daughter for her and I have done so many things that really hurt her but I really want her to know that there’s no other woman in the world that I idolize more than her. My mom is my superhero.
And now, as she grows older, I want to be the daughter she has always wanted me to be.
Mom, here’s to more binding, shopping, weight discussion and food trips. I love you mom.
A year ago, I would have been brave enough to wear a two-piece swimsuit. A year ago, I would have worn tight dresses and short shorts. Sadly today, these are just impossible. Why? Because I gained weight.
Gaining weight is one major factor why people tend to lose their self-esteem. Apart from being too shy to socialize with other people, overweight people tend to believe that they’re the ugliest people on earth (that’s what I think.)
I just hate it when friends you have not seen for a long time would say “Ang taba mo na. Ano nangyari sa ‘yo?” Or when they say, “Di kita nakilala, ang taba mo na kasi.” Believe me, these words hurt like knives being stabbed on your chest over and over again. When such scenarios happen, I often have this fantasy of cutting off these people’s heads, (forgive me for the violent thought.) So, since I can’t do this in real life, I fight back with words like , “Ang dami ko kasing perang pambili ng pagkain, hindi katulad mo” or “Napunta lahat sa katawan ko utak ko eh.” I know I sometimes become mean but hell! These people are just too insensitive!
And so, I often cry (yes, i cry!), for like 10 minutes. Then I stop and look at the brighter side of things. You see, my pint is, I don’t regret eating pizza, friend chicken and french fries. I actually love eating them! Yay! Musta naman….
But in an effort to help me lose some weight, my mom also tends to be insensitive sometimes especially when she asks “Ano anak, di kapa ba pumapayat?” every time she calls. But I don’t hate her, I just try to understand her since when she was my age, she was a fat girl too, and the jokes were too much for her. Maybe she just doesn’t want me to undergo the same traumatic experience.
And so, haha, I am now officially trying soo hard to lose weight. In fact, it’s my new year’s resolution. But in the meantime, I would just like to say something to insensitive people out there. “You’re not perfect. If you are bored with your own lives, go fuck yourself or find someone to fuck with. Or, go to a different planet where only skinny people live. Good luck on that one!
My dad would always say, “You will definitely become someone, darling.” Being the daddy’s girl that I really am, I believed every word he said that’s why I tried my best to get good grades in high school. He always wanted me to study college in Manila, because the good schools were there.
With lots of prayers and hard work, I was able to pass the UPCAT. I have never seen him so proud, I still remember his excitement when he asked me to come home from my daily choir practice. His eyes were glowing with pride, his face so full of joy I can’t even find the right words to describe it. He said, “You see, I told you will be great.” Again, I believed him.
I left Pagudpud six years ago and after daddy passed away, I vowed not to return until I become someone. Today, I am on my way of reaching that dream and I refuse to go home for good unless I can show something to my daddy, something that he will really be proud of. I do not wish to be the usual housewife, or the teacher, or the underpaid government employee(the usual jobs in my hometown.) I refuse to be an addition to my mother’s burdens. I choose to be someone and I admit that I’m struggling, struggling in a way that I have almost given up a hundred times, doubting my capabilities and losing faith in myself. But still, I choose to go on.
I choose to stay here in Manila and work my ass off and maybe someday, just someday, I will become the person my daddy have always wanted me to be. Even though everything is still a blur, I know that I will eventually discover the right path for me.
I’m tired of beaches, primarily because I practically grew up in a place famous for its beaches. So last November 2, I decided to join my friends to a trip to Vigan. Yes people, I live in the Ilocos region but I have never been to Vigan. Luckily, my mom was kind enough to let me go with my friends for a little adventure.
We left Pagudpud at about one o’clock in the afternoon and with the driving skills of my ex-boyfriend’s dad, the five-hour trip became a three-hour one. Of course, those three hours were filled with praying for dear life,( we were steadily going at about 120 kph!)
When we arrived in Vigan, we went straight to the clay house wherein a manong was kind enough to show us how a banga is made, all for the price of 20 pesos. The place looked really nice with hundreds of clay pots and vases all over it. FYI, the clay that they use comes from the rice fields. Yun lang.
After that, we went to the Hidden Garden to check out the gorgeous plants. I’m sure my sister-in-law would spend all her lifetime savings if she saw the ones for sale. Anyway, highway, I was thinking of buying her one but the kinds she wanted were just to expensive.
We then went to Chavit’s Baluarte where I saw an ostrich and a mini horse. Yey! riding the horse was free but was for kids only. Sad. (I want my mommy!) But I had a cute picture wih the ostrich though, although it seems like it wasn’t that much willing to pose with me.
And before going home, we went to Vigan’s “night market.” It was so lovely!! Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take pictures because I was soo buy shopping.
A day after my birthday, all of the material things I dearly love were stolen from me. Apparently, someone broke into our apartment and stole of my things. Tragic isn’t it? And these were not just “things” that could be replaced easily because these were pretty expensive – my Asus laftaf, my PS2 and my blue ipod shuffle…:c
It seemed like a typical day at the apartment and I was feeling a little bit lazy because my mom was there to be with me on my birthday. As I tried to get ready for work, I felt a deep sense of heaviness inside me, the feeling that I can’t even move my feet to get out of my room. Little did I know that something tragic was about to happen.
It was about a few minutes before 5 pm when my mom called telling me that she just arrived from the mall and discovered that my laptop was missing. I was in a state of shock. I wanted to cry but I was still at the office, I wanted to shout but my officemates were still there. The worst part is, I couldn’t go home immediately because we had a badminton practice that can not be re-scheduled. And so, I calmed myself and told my mom that I would be home in two hours. It would have to wait.
When I arrived home, my mom and few of our neighbors were already in front of the house, talking with two policemen. I did not show any reaction. I went straight to my room to check on my other things and there, I discovered that my ps2 and my ipod were missing, too. All my college files, sorority pictures and block pictures were gone. (From now on, I will always remember to save a copy of all my files on a usb flash drive.)
After a few minutes, I broke into tears. It’s a good thing my mom was there to console me and to tell me that everything was going to be all right. And what really made me happy was when she said, “Gusto lang nilang mapalitan ng bago.” Little did I know that a week and a half after, what she said was going to be true.
P.S. To the person who stole my precious lafietie, I hope you find out what Karma is all about. Yun lang.
Hello Everyone!!!
After much contemplating, I have finally decided to start my own personal blog. Well, with co-workers who are some of the best bloggers in the country, and with a boss who happens to be the founder of SEO Philippines, the pressure is definitely on.
So here I am, filled with so much excitement, typing my first blog post. Yay!My topics will include my everyday drama, my never-ending desire for material things (gadgets) and other things that I can hopefully think of.
So there, welcome to my blog and enjoy reading! 
